III
Wife 3

Big rap in Wife 3

Months later, when I arrived in Capitol Reef, I felt I was more qualified to be there. I suppose that, when you feel and believe that you belong, then you truly belong. I was once again being given the gift of sharing the exploration of a new canyon. Although the fear and risk were in my mind, I was delighted to be again on unknown ground.

Fear and risk mix together with the beauty and wonder to pull me around the next corner into the unknown. The dark sinuous slot ahead sends primal chills up my spine, while at the same time beckoning with a siren song of indescribable beauty and allure. Beyond the primal fear of being trapped in a dark unknown place with spiders, it seems, for me, that trepidation arises from four basic directions. The fear of it becoming incredibly difficult, to the point of near impossibility, is perhaps the least daunting. Of course, the difficulty could lead to injury, which is less easy to ignore. Next is the chance that I could fall to my death, and that is customarily a cause for major concern. Finally, and worst of all, is the possibility that I would watch a friend fall to their death. It doesn't seem like many people get over that kind of experience. Yet the fear of the unknown seems to be one of the predominant attractions of the endeavor. Fear is a funny thing. It can be ignored and pushed aside for a time, but it always seems to creep back to the forefront of consciousness, despite the strongest willpower. At the same time, fear can be the driving force which moves me to seek out these awesome places like a filthy, tattered canyon addict searching for his next score.

Once again, our exploration of the unknown fulfilled its promise and supplied ample doses of the four fears, sprinkled in with an overwhelming feeling of wonder and joy.